A lot of parents believe that instilling a sense of fear into their children will cause them to become more disciplined and more obedient. Based on my own experience, this doesn’t really work in the long run. I developed a fear of being yelled at or hit whenever I did something wrong, and this led to a growing habit of hiding everything from my parents. I would run and hide in fear of being caught. When being punished, it was always the broom or hand that I would be spanked with. I just love it when an Asian parent is acting like a stereotypical Asian parent.
Instead of disciplining their children through the fear tactic, parents should set realistic expectations for their children, and have a consequence when their children can’t meet those standards. Violence is never the answer when dealing with children. Children and teens nowadays are on their phones or other electronic devices all the time, so taking away those things would be a good choice for a punishment. This way children won’t develop any physical or mental damage, and will be taught that there are expectations they have to keep up with in order to avoid the consequences.
I understand that taking care of a child is mentally and physically draining, but remember that whatever you do to the child is going to affect them one way or another. The relationship between a parent and their child also depends on this. Using violence as a way to discipline isn’t going to be worth it, and any other peaceful method is going to be better than this.
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I’m grateful my parents don’t use the fear tactic. From what I’ve seen of some of the people I’ve come across in my life, the tactics that some parents use to “discipline” their children only harm the children’s mental well-being and social life. Parents should never be unreasonably harsh on their children. They should put more trust and faith in their children instead. I’ve also noticed that parents who use the fear tactic tend to not give their children a lot of freedom. These parents need to give their children more freedom and responsibility the older they get. It’s important for children to learn how to solve certain problems without parents controlling them. All parents should adopt an authoritative parenting style. Completely agree with your post!
ReplyDeleteAs someone that also has Asian parents, I can tell you that they set up their expectations really high. Without meeting those expectations, there would be some sort of punishment like being grounded or having an earlier bedtime. At least with having these pretty big expectations, it makes you have the energy to make sure that you don’t mess up or work on the things you need to do right away.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Charlene on how the discipline tactics can backfire and impact children negatively. I grew up in a country where physical discipline is normalized and I never realized how much this fear tactic has affected me until now. I was taught to be obedient and timid and never speak up for myself even if the adult was the one in the wrong. It's hurts to know that I'm not the only person who's gone through this type of treatment, and that there are other young children who have gone through even more brutal treatments. There's definitely better ways to discipline your children without traumatizing them.
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