"Everything happens for a reason."
In my experience, I hear this phrase the most when something hasn't worked out the way someone wanted, like a break-up, or a failed job interview. Even when that happens, most of the time people sugarcoats the real reason in order to feel less at fault. It's a way for us to comfort ourselves and move on, but not everything happens for a reason, sometimes life just sucks.
I've always found it profoundly unsettling and exceptionally childish to accept that the purpose for life's hardship, disappointment, and misfortunes is to teach us an appropriate lesson that we have been "destined" to learn. A failed business, illnesses, the loss of a loved one, nightmares, natural disasters, each is excruciating in its own unique way. But, the idea that life's unfairness is somehow supposed to be justified by a scripted reason is apathetic and... well, ultimately lazy.
I don’t believe things happen for a (personal) reason. If you get cancer, you get cancer. If you get hit by a truck, marry the wrong person, get laid off from your job because of a recession, or get trapped by a global pandemic. Things are just beyond your control and you don't really benefit anything from it half of the time.
A more extreme example would be this: Imagine your doctor coming into the room telling you "I'm sorry that your 8-year-old son was paralyzed from the neck down by drunk driver, but everything happens for a reason." That sounds absolutely absurd.
While we should own up to mistakes we've made that account for a failure, often times bad things just happen. To believe otherwise condemns those less fortunate to having somehow deserved their fate. Worse, it can lead us to accepting injustice.
I also find it a bit odd whenever people create a subjective feeling of purpose to make themselves feel better when it comes to suffering and misery. But humans have a survival instinct, so I think that’s why people always try to find justifications for the bad things that happen to them, even when those things are life-threatening. It’s still weird for me though. I would never tell anyone “Suffering makes you appreciate life more” or “Suffering helps build character.” Suffering is unfortunately an inherent part of life. While there are certainly causes, the universe is unguided, sometimes random and sometimes accidental. I really like the example you used, even if it was a bit extreme, and I think it strengthened your argument.
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